


Risks and Rewards

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, I'm making it a genre, MTF Preg, is that a genre?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7259329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now living comfortably in Ferelden, Maevaris decides to transition using magical methods. However, a rare side effect of the procedures has left her in a rather delicate state...</p><p>Written for a kink-meme prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risks and Rewards

Whirlwind romances were outside of Maevaris' expertise. She had married young and spent years happily with her husband. Widowhood treated her well. She enjoyed flirting and teasing, but keeping herself somewhat distant. She was not a woman who went to bed with just anyone, after all, no matter how many kisses she sneaked or how many long, lingering dances she shared with charming men. 

She was out of her element, returning to Ferelden, but it was a grand romantic gesture. She preferred a simpler life really, despite how much she loved the pampering and decadence of a noble Tevinter life. And Maker, she loved those mountains, loved waking up in the cool air with her warm lover beside her. Cullen practically radiated heat in the mornings, her great big burly man. He had blushed the first time she had called him that since apparently he was one of the smaller men in his family. It had been too sweet.

She had not known what exactly she had done to charm him so. In Tevinter stroking a man's vanity could get you anywhere, but Cullen grew embarrassed easily. She had grown up rich; he had grown up a farmer's second son. She was a bit older than him, not much but that was quite the taboo in Tevinter. And built as she was...well, that was another thing that was not as taboo in Ferelden, something it was taking her awhile to adjust to. In her home country, they could never have been together, but here no one batted an eyelash, other than to wish her luck on the last days of her journey to Skyhold. 

She was exhausted by the time she crossed the threshold, her feet aching, her skin dry from the cold mountain air. She was very close to describing herself as miserable, a state she aspired never to reach again. But when Cullen saw her, his face split into a gorgeous smile and she found herself running across the courtyard to him. He picked her up, spinning her around before bringing her into a deep kiss. This is why she had crossed warzones, traveled thousands of miles. For this man, this perfect wonderful man to look at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

***

The south provided other opportunities as well, ones she had never given much credence to in her homeland. It was there that she discovered other women like her. She had met a few before, but always in secret, the fear of being discovered looming over each encounter. Maevaris was lucky, supremely lucky, but she had never wanted to press her luck. She lived as a woman, but the only changes she dare make to her body were superficial. Anything else was not worth the risk.

But in Ferelden...Maker, the women like her in Ferelden lived so freely. Some did absolutely nothing to mark them as female, other than switching pronouns or a name. And some...some had done something that Maevaris did not truly believe was possible until she saw it in person. Body parts did not make a woman, her belief in this had not been shattered, but seeing someone who was born like her look as much a woman as anyone else, to bare and nurse children...it made her heart ache. She knew that the desire would not fade, no matter how she pushed it aside. It was a choice, but it was a dangerous one. It would be unwise for her to ever return to Tevinter if she did and the process was long and painful. 

Cullen tried to talk her out of it, wanting to keep her safe, and still doubting if she truly wanted to commit herself to him after only a few short months. She quieted him by leading him into bed, fantasying about how much better it would feel in the right skin, in the right shape. She loved him, but this was for her.

***

Cullen offered to go with her to meet the healer, but Maevaris took Dorian. She wanted another mage's opinion and she worried hearing the specifics of it would terrify her poor ex-Templar. Dorian was a comfort, even if his occasional grimace or wince did not help her nerves. It was not terribly difficult, just a manipulation of tissue, encouraging the body to change into a natural form. The most difficult part was the maintenance of hormones, but that would ease as the newly forming ovaries took over from the testes. It was very scientific and if it weren't her own body, she would have found it quite dull.

But she did love the thrill the first night she looked in the mirror, feeling as if her breasts were starting to get a bit bigger. It would be an awkward year as her body shifted, but there would be many small victories she could embrace. Her resolve was strengthened. She was in.

***

Maevaris woke to light kisses on her bare shoulder. She grinned into the sheets and rolled over, embracing Cullen to her. She nuzzled into him as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Good morning, beautiful," she murmured.

He kissed her lightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she reassured. 

He ran his hand down her hip, holding her close. 

She chuckled. "Not that good, soldier."

"I could just take care of you," he offered, grinning at her. 

"As tempting as that is, I would rather get through meeting your sisters without the added awkwardness of knowing their brother had just blown me."

"I'm going to miss doing that though," Cullen said, his ears growing slightly pink. "I was only just starting to get good at it."

Maevaris reassured with a wink. "You were doing just fine, darling, but I can't wait to see your other legendary skills." 

Her smile faltered slightly and he kissed her forehead. "They'll love you, Mae."

"I am a very poor match for you, darling," she said quietly. "I like to imagine your family are the sort of people wise enough to know that."

"You're right, you're too good for me," he said, kissing her neck.

"You know what I mean," she said, suddenly feeling vulnerable. "You know this can't last. You'll meet a girl, someone younger, fresher, someone closer to home. Which will be fine. Because my homeland needs me and why do I deserve to have gotten out when everyone else is still there...are we just playing pretend, Cullen? Are we going to build a little house in the mountains and shut out the rest of the world? You can barely take time off enough to have lunch, never mind retire."

Cullen stroked her face. "I don't want to ignore what you've just said, because your feelings are perfectly valid, love. But I think this may be your new cycles getting the better of you. If you remember, last night you said much the same thing until I brought you three slices of chocolate cake and rubbed your ankles."

"You...you make a good point," she agreed.

"I have my moments."

"That you do," she said, nuzzling into him.  
They both startled when a loud knock hit the door. Instinctively Cullen got up, grabbing for the dagger in their end table's drawer. Maevaris put her hand on his arm and murmured, "Relax."

She put on her housecoat and opened the door, disappointed to see Jim on the other side. "Darling, your favourite underling is here."

"Sorry, Sir," Jim stammered. "If it wasn't an emergency-"

"It's fine, Recruit," Cullen muttered. "I'll be right there."

Maevaris returned to bed, her nerves still not sated. 

***

Even after meeting Cullen's family, Maevaris still felt unwell. She considered stopping the treatments, but she had been so happy with her progress. She was finally rid of that infernal bump in her throat and her hips were softening so nicely. 

Cullen left for Orlais and she tried to reassure him that she was fine. She was. She was just...hormonal. If this was the price for her new form, she could handle this for a year. A year was not terribly long, really. 

But in his absence it grew worse. Her stomach was shot, her belly physically hurt. Fearing something was rupturing, she finally agreed to Dorian's pleads for her to see Devin. She suspected the worst, though she was trying to remain calm for Dorian's sake. Maker, if she were visibly upset, she would only end up having to comfort him. 

Despite all the possibilities, Maevaris could not have expected what she would hear.

"Ms. Tilani, I am afraid there has been a complication."

Maevaris' heart raced. "What is it?"

"This is a very rare occurrence, I assure you, and it is even rarer for it to happen now so early in the transition. But it appears...it appears you are with child."

"What?" Maevaris whispered. 

"It can happen with the magic. Spells pick up on various other...fluids and work them into the healing process. In your case, this has resulted in an implantation in your womb, which is the pain you have been feeling. I've only seen it a handful of times."

Maevaris swallowed. "Is it...is it viable?" 

"It will be difficult," the healer warned. "We'll have to do major transfiguration weekly in order to make sure your womb grows in pace with the child. And of course, a birthing canal must be constructed as early as possible."

Maevaris felt her lip quivering and Dorian grabbed her shoulder.

"It's okay," he reassured. 

"If I wanted to keep it...can you do it all in time?" She asked quietly.

"Yes," Devin promised, "but it will not be pleasant. The techniques that I would spend a year progressing you through will be done fully within the next few months. Sustaining this pregnancy will take up much of your energy. I will prescribe a series of supplements and you should remain on near bed rest until I am confident with your progress."

Maevaris took a deep breath. "Then that is what we will do." 

"Get some rest. We'll talk in a few days, Ms. Tilani."

Dorian helped her to her feet, but she gently pushed him away. She pulled her hair off the back of her neck, trying to cool down. She walked only a few more paces and blacked out.

***

Maevaris woke in her own bed, cold compresses on her forehead and throat. She sat up slowly and Dorian brought a glass of water to her. She thanked him quietly and drank, starting to feel a bit sturdier.

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's a hot day."

"And you're in a bit of shock."

She admitted, "Yes...that too."

"I'm here for you," Dorian promised. "Whatever you need. Amor a naite eta sol."

It was a pledge that a brother made to a sister: I will love your child as I love you. By speaking those words, Dorian had sworn himself fully as protector and patron to her unborn child. 

Maevaris smiled weakly. "Dorian..."

"Don't you 'Dorian' me," he warned. "We're going to get you through this. Do you want me to send for a raven?"

Maevaris considered it for a moment. She wanted Cullen there with her, but in his mission to track down Samson he would arrive no earlier if she sent word. While the thought might give him some hope...well, it was better to have the conversation face to face. 

"No," she said finally. "He'll be home soon enough. I don't want to worry him."

"Are you...are you afraid he won't be pleased?" Dorian asked. 

"A little," she admitted. "We hadn't discussed where we were going with this. Maybe...I don't know. We've made no commitments." 

"Mae," Dorian laughed in surprised. "Are you serious? You traveled weeks across a war zone and through enemy territory to be with this man. You are clearly madly in love with him. And Cullen? Maker, it's disgusting how much he loves you. When you met, he wouldn't stop talking about you. The day you left last time he actually asked me what ring size you wore and what the rest of your jewelry looked like."

"No," Maevaris protested, shaking her head. "You're making up stories."

"Truly! You should see the gaudy pieces he wanted for you. I protected you from some unforgivable crimes of fashion."

Maevaris groaned, "What am I going to wear, Dorian? I have nothing that has even a remote amount of give. I'll be forced to wear...Ferelden maternity clothes."

They both shuddered.

Dorian promised, "Lady Vivienne has a tailor who apparently can work miracles. Once you've told Cullen, I'll get her to send for him. The little one will need some nicer clothes as well, of course."

Maevaris took a deep breath. There was certainly a lot to plan, but she had always been good at adapting when necessary.

***

It had been only a few weeks and Maevaris was already bored out of her skull. She had read every book in Tevene in the library, most of the ones in Common, and was actually learning Orleasian just so she could read the rest. Dorian came to visit her and others did as well, not knowing exactly what her condition was, only that her transition was making her feel unwell. 

She also missed Cullen. She wanted to tell him, partly so it was no longer a secret and partly because she needed to know how he felt. It was a conversation she rehearsed in her head so many times and still had not landed on the right words.

But at hearing the horns echoing through the castle, it seemed that she would not have to wait much longer.

Despite Dorian's protests, she nearly ran to the courtyard, looking among the soldiers for hers. Cullen looked a wreck. Exhausted, worn, pale, but at that moment, when their eyes met, she felt such a wave of relief it almost overwhelmed her. He was here and he was safe. She knew he was. She had received two letters after the capture of the red Templar base, but to see him in person, just within her reach...

Cullen held her tight to him, burying his face in her hair. She could feel he was close to tears and she put her arms around him. He kissed her and her heart skipped a beat. He held her face in his hands and she whispered, "I'm here."

He smiled weakly. "I missed you."

***

Maevaris asked for no servants to disrupt them, helping Cullen with rebandaging his wounds, washing his hair, and pouring a perfect bath for him. Cullen said little until he was in the tub, the tension fading slightly from his face. She sat beside him and he held her hand on the lip of the basin, gazing at her.

"There's something I need to tell you," Maevaris said nervously.

"Is it a good something or a bad something?" Cullen asked.

She smiled. "Very good, at least, I think so."

"Then I would very much love to hear it," Cullen reassured.

Maevaris took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Cullen made a face, as if about to laugh at her joke, but then his expression softened. "Truly? How is that...Mae..."

Maevaris tried to explain the magic the best she could, trying to keep calm. Cullen listened to it all dutifully and when she waited for him to respond, he kissed her. When they pulled apart, she could see tears in his eyes and a radiant smile.

"We're having a baby?" He asked.

Maevaris nodded, her heart racing.

"And you're both healthy? You're both safe."

Maevaris agreed, "I need to be on bed rest mostly, but yeah, I'm fine."

Cullen bounced his eyebrows. "Then let's get you to bed."

Maevaris giggled as he stood up, dripping wet and already growing hard. He ignored her protests about leaving water marks as he picked her up and brought her into the bedroom. His previous concerns about her delicateness seemed to have faded quickly as he was already stripping her out of her clothes and reaching blindly for the bottle of oil hidden under the bed. 

As if knowing what she was thinking, he froze. "Mae...this isn't going to hurt either of you, is it? I don't want..."

"I'm fine," she reassured.

"Baby too?"

She grinned. "Baby too."

He took a deep breath. "I can't risk it."

"Cullen," she complained.

"I'm talking to the healer first," Cullen insisted, rolling off the bed. "I want to know everything I can do to keep you both healthy. I'm sure Dorian can recommend me a few books. We need to make sure we have all the information possible." 

Maevaris groaned, lying on her back. Of all the reactions she was expecting, she was really hoping General Rutherford wouldn't view her pregnancy as a military campaign. Knowing how much the man liked to over prepare, it really shouldn't have surprised her. 

"Come back to bed, love," Maevaris pleaded.

But Cullen was already tossing his pants back on and half way out the door. She put her hand on her face, groaning into her palm. 

She was never getting laid again.

**Author's Note:**

> After a certain TV show killed off a favourite character of mine, I've decided to make the next few fics I write all about queer and trans women and/or black women having lovely lives and being loved and respected. So...yeah.


End file.
